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NATIVE AMERICAN FAMILIES
and
RELATIONSHIP and SEXUAL VIOLENCE

Native American people struggling to understand the dynamics of family violence face recognizing the effects of having non-Native cultural values forced upon tribal societies under colonization by Europeans. Some American Indian women working to end violence against Native women in Indian Country explain the power and control tactics of domestic and sexual violence by naming them “unnatural” and “life-destroying.” In addition to behaviors taught by the colonizers, such abusive behaviors often include…

  • Cultural Abuse: Competing over "Indianness." Misinterpreting culture to prove male superiority/female submission. Using relatives to beat her up.

  • Ritual Abuse: Making prayers against her. Defining spirituality as masculine. Stopping her from practicing her ways. Saying "God doesn't allow divorce." Saying her moon time makes her "dirty."

  • Using Male Privilege: Treating her like a servant. Making all the big decisions alone…. Defining men's and women's roles in a way that makes men superior and women inferior…. Expecting no consequences for bad behavior.

  • Using the Children: Making her feel guilty about the children and that she's a bad mother….  Threatening to take the children away…. Convincing her that he'll get custody if she leaves. Convincing the children that the violence is her fault, that she's stupid/sick/a bad woman.

Reclaiming “[t]he natural, traditional life way rests upon values, which are reflected in our behaviors and relationships with all things,” members of the Sacred Circle remind Native women and men. These values include …

  • compassion

  •  respect

  • generosity

  • mutual sharing

  • humility

  • contributing/industriousness

  • courage

  • love, and

  • being spiritually centered

For far too long, this culture has been suppressed. These values are being reclaimed by many Native families, who express them in some of these ways:

 

  • Being Respectful: Listening to her non-judgmentally. Being emotionally affirming and understanding. Valuing her thoughts, feelings and opinions. Honor her individual way of being and walking her path

  • Cultural Respect: Understand your relationship to others and all things in Creation. Be responsible for your role: act with compassion and respect. Respect and accept that people have their own path.

  • Spiritual Reflection: Meditate about walking your own Path. Reflect on your relationship with the Creator. Make time to be alone in Nature. Recognize and express thanks for your blessings. Focus on the inner balance of your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self: Practice humility.

  • Responsible Parenting: Share parental responsibilities; be a positive, non-violent role model. Parenting is difficult -- get support and words of wisdom from your relatives when needed.

  • Negotiation and Fairness: Seek mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict. Accept change as part of life, not a threat. Be willing to compromise. Try to find answers to problems where everyone's needs are met.

  • Non-Threatening Behavior: Talking and acting in a way that makes her feel safe and comfortable expressing herself and doing things.

Adapted from Mending the Sacred Hoop

 National Resource Center to End Violence Against Native Women

http://www.msh-ta.org/

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Resources

 

Click here to find other websites with additional information and support about relationship and sexual violence and stalking and how tribes are addressing these problems.

 

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ReSPONSE bullet Montana State University-NorthernbulletP.O. Box 7751bulletHavre, MT 59501bullet(406) 265-3557

This project was supported by grant # 2002-WA-BX-0013 from the Office on Violence Against Women, Office of Justice Programs, and by grant # 2004-WA-AX-0016,  from the Office on Violence Against Women, U.S. Department of Justice. The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this publication/program/exhibition are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, or Office on Violence Against Women.