WHAT IS RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE?

RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE is a pattern of behavior in which one partner uses fear and intimidation to establish power and control over the other partner, often including the threat or use of violence. This abuse happens when one person believes they are entitled to control another.

Relationship violence can and does occur in any type of intimate relationship – dating, marriage, co-habitation, or roommate arrangements. It occurs between couples who are straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender. It may or may not include sexual assault, and is sometimes called domestic abuse.

FORMS OF RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE

Relationship violence is a crime. It can take many forms and may include…

• Emotional abuse
• Economic abuse
• Sexual abuse
• Using Children
• Using male privilege
• Threats
• Intimidation
• Isolation…

…and a variety of other behaviors used to maintain fear, intimidation and power over another person.

TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE

Acts of relationship abuse generally fall into one or more of the following categories: physical violence, sexual violence, emotional or psychological violence.

• Physical violence: The abuser's physical attacks or aggressive behavior can range from bruising to murder. It often begins with what is excused as trivial contacts which escalate into more frequent and serious attacks. Physical abuse may include, but is not limited to, any of the following behaviors:

  • Pushes or shoves you
  • Slaps or hits you
  • Pulls your hair
  • Kicks or punches you
  • Restrains you with force
  • Chokes you
  • Throws objects at you

  • Abandons you in a dangerous place

• Sexual abuse: Physical attack by the abuser is often accompanied by or culminates in some type of sexual intercourse with the victim, or forces the victim to take part in unwanted sexual activity. Marital rape is a crime. Sexual violence may include, but is not limited to, any of the following behaviors:

  • Makes demeaning remarks about your gender
  • Calls you sexual names
  • Forces you to take off your clothing
  • Touches you in ways that make you feel uncomfortable
  • Forces you to have sex against your will
  • Treats you and members of your gender as objects
  • Insists you dress in a more sexual way than you want to dress
  • Insists you dress less sexually
  • Minimizes the importance of your feelings about sex

  • Accuses you of sexual activity with others

   

• Emotional or Psychological violence: The abuser's psychological or mental attacks on the victim may  include constant verbal abuse, harassment, excessive possessiveness, isolation from friends and family, deprivation of physical and economic resources, and destruction of personal property. Emotional or psychological abuse may include, but is not limited to, any of the following behaviors:

  • Ignores your feelings
  • Withholds approval, appreciation, or affection as punishment
  • Continually criticizes you, calls you names, shouts at you
  • Makes all decisions for you
  • Wants to control all your actions
  • Humiliates you in public or private
  • Ridicules your most valued beliefs, your religion, race, or heritage
  • Manipulates you with lies and contradictions
  • Subjects you to reckless driving

Some information adapted from National Coalition Against Domestic Violence website, http://www.ncadv.org/.