HOW CAN I SUPPORT SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN SEXUALLY ASSAULTED?

•  Do not blame the victim.

• Place the responsibility of the assault where it truly belongs - with the offender.

Comments such as "Why were you there?", "How did you get yourself in that situation?" or "You should have known better" inappropriately place blame on the victim. Although the intention of asking these questions may be to grasp what had happened, the victim may feel that you are blaming her for the assault.

Instead of making comments which could be interpreted as victim blaming, try this:
 

• Listen.

• Offer support.

• Be non-judgmental.

• Assure the victim that the assault was not her fault.

• Be supportive and educated about the services available to victims of sexual assault.

• Respect the victim's decision on what to do – or not do.

 Keep in mind that sexual assault is a crime of power and fear, NOT passion or sex. The person victimized has had the power of self-determination taken away forcibly. One way of support is to assure her that the decisions about coping are her own. Remember, the person who was victimized may not choose the option you think you would take if you were sexually assaulted. Instead of trying to convince someone to take a certain path, respect the victim's decision about what path she wants to take towards healing and recovery. Everyone copes differently. The victim is in the best position to decide what option is best for her.